It's time to turn over a new leaf

Hmm, I thought really long and hard before I decided to post this here, hmmm, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, and I am still wondering should I do so...haih

I had a dream this morning, the dream was brief but for me it felt like it took up my whole 24 hours. So yeah, about the dream I mentioned. It was a total daze but in a way I kinda knew what was going on - in my dream the world was coming to an end! See I knew I shouldn't post this now someone will think I must be an id_ot. YET this nagging deep within me just wouldn't let me rest in peace, so here we go:

All I can remember is I was with another friend in my dream, and then suddenly wham! There were no visible sign of the END, but there was a voice (right now I don't remember what I heard) but I remember feeling so afraid and regretful. And at that moment - the first thing that came to my mind was my family; my mum, my dad, my brothers and my sisters. I really wanted to call them, so badly that I was crying, but I don't have a phone with me in my dream - in real life I wouldn't go anywhere without my phone huhu.

While I was praying and hoping for a second chance cause I know I'm not a good person (I was repenting all the not so proud things that I've done,, thoughts about "I should have called my parents more often", "Should have been more 'forgiveful'.", "Should be more thankful" just kept flooding my mind)

, my friend turned to me and started to cry. I didn't know what to tell her - "that it's ok, everything's gonna be alright" just don't sound that convincing in this situation. I mean I was panicking myself. The thought of never going to see your love ones ever again scares me. I knew it was too late but I kept thinking I would do anything if I was given another chance to live.

And suddenly I was awake, on my bed, wandering was it all just a dream. I even went to peek out of the window to see if there's any signs of living. After that I laughed at myself for doing so. Then it had me thinking

what if it was for real, not something that I can wake up from and then laugh and go about with my daily routine?

We all know that the END it's real and it's coming. We may not know the exact time or day and it's not our job to calculate or predict it. But I do know we should use whatever time we have that God has given us to the fullest. Though it was just a dream and really thank God it was a dream! - to me it was a

wake up call

. I guess we don't really know what's important until we're about to lose them. And for me, I don't want to go through those feelings of regret a second time. So I'm gonna use this 'second chance' given to me; to really treasure what I have now and to work on what I lack. I want to be a better daughter, friend, employee or even , a stranger that can put a smile on another stranger's face :).

And,, mum,dad,siss and bros: I love you guys so much, really so much. :)